Disappointment/His Appointment

I finally got to church yesterday ~ twice!  Service was filled with lovely music and a somewhat decent message.  I would like it much better if the preacher spoke from his heart.  But the music was heavenly.  The liturgy was good.  Public confession of faith and sins.  All good.

Then Colin's organ recital!  Wow!  That really floated my boat.  He is amazing.  I still don't see how someone so short can play as well as someone so tall as James.  But he was superb.  It must take so much concentration and cleanness of mind to be able to focus and play so well.

It was also good to see folks I hadn't seen in almost a year.  I feel so alone and isolated here lying on my back so much of the time.  I got to share the good news that someone finally is treating me who actually understands what is going on in my back: how my spine is twisted and curved all at the same time.  Then I got to share the news that I am finally hopeful about getting better.

Oh, I should know that the enemy strikes just when I express the faith the Lord has imparted in his own wonderful way.  Because today, yes, only one day later, and even after a visit to Dr. Lin, I am feeling more pain than I have in quite some time.

Last week I did the ball rolls and just got right up without having to lie back and turn and keep my leg straight as I crawl into a standing position.  Today?  Back to square one.  and pain while rolling.  quite a bit of pain.

I assumed that things were getting better, esp. after a dr. visit.  But I guess yesterdays sitting was a bit too much.  Oh, well.  Whatever it was, it made me regress.  But I will keep my eyes on the Lord and not on the symptoms.  I know he wants me well.  He does want to heal me.  I refuse the lies of the enemy.  Amen.

It reminds me of when the kids were little and I would have a wonderful time of prayer, thanking God for making me a mother and a wife, and the next day would be simply awful.  The kids would act up, Mark would act emotionally distant, I would feel alone, and the negative thoughts would fill my heart.

Oh, you persons without bodies, wanting to control me.... I will not let you use my body, my heart, my mind, or my emotions.  Evaporate!  Jesus is Victor!