I am going to be sure not to think it couldn't get any worse, since last time that thought popped into my mind, I woke up with hives all over my arms, back and legs. It got worse while waiting for the doctor to access my skin (originally for candida) and worsened for five days before the doc saw it. (Past tense does not mean it is gone yet!)
He immediately said it was not candida, but allergic reaction to NSAIDS, which I have been taking more and more for a few years here now. One doesn't realize how much one depends on advil, asprin, and ibuprofen until said entities are taken away from one.
Not fair! Now the pain is worse, but the rash remains!! When will it end? Why have you left me here all alone? Who will abandon me next?
Pity party here, no other life. Yesh, I am the life of the pity party~ Too bad I can't drink with these useless meds. At least then I could forget.
Three more drugs administered, and I say, "Three strikes: Rx, you're OUT!" I think other than the antihistamine I am going to take nothing other than Univera from now on. Tramadol is allowed, but helps not, as doesn't Tylenol. Hmm guess, the 'ol's are out.
And the poor dog.. It gives me very bad smelling windy pops. More like toxic gas emissions. The dog, ah, yes, well, there is a whole nuther story. I got as far as typing up an ad on Craigslist, "Maltipoo up for adoption" but couldn't upload a photo; then he got on his good behavior as if he knew I was thinking of giving him away to a nice, unsuspecting old lady who might be in need of companionship.
Another thing about these new scripts ~ they yield quite vivid dreams... Mostly about the mess downstairs (no, it is not yet cleared up, thrown out, gone through) trailing from room to room, across every vacant counter and piece of furniture originally designed for the reclining of human bodies.
The above, yes this, and more is what you might call the symptoms of withdrawl from Mummi swimming, or the side effects of Mummi obeying the doctors. You can think what you will. Bottom line ~ not anything good about any of it.
All in all, were it not for some very dear friends who are pursuing my soul in prayer three times a week over the phone, I would probably have given up long ago. Praise to you, Lord Christ.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
The waiting
So, we went to Dr. Roberts of Irving, who did take our insurance, scheduled the total hip replacement surgery, and found out a week before the date, our insurance does not cover the hospital. It would have cost $350/day to have the surgery there.
After a thorough search, we found a doctor who did take our insurance, as well as his hospital. We waited a few weeks to get in only to be referred to another doctor who is all the way in Ft. Worth. It seems he is the cream of the crop for hip and knee replacements. He edits a well known medical digest, and he appears to be very thorough.
When Mark told him about my candida infection, he sent me to the same hospital where the surgery will take place to have an aspiration to see if the candida is in my joint. The doctor who did it could not get any fluids out of the bone on bone hip joint. Now Dr. Weeden is sending me to an infectious disease doctor, but we can't get in there until a week before the scheduled surgery.
I am thinking the surgery will now be postponed yet again, but the good thing is I have some better pain killers to tide me over. The bad side is swimming has made me start itching again. I feel better if I swim, but I feel itchier if I swim. I have to hold off the swimming, because the itching keeps me awake. So when I lose sleep, the pain is worse. The negtive thing is I do more warfare prayers when I swim, so I will have to develop another routine whereby I can actively attack the enemy who habitually rares his ugly head up against all my freinds and family.
Meanwhile I have researched the hip implants and found out many have been recalled. The metal parts all seem to pose a threat in the form of seeping out into the body and bloodstream. I am not happy with the idea of having an artificial prosthesis inside my leg and hip, but neither am I happy hobbling around in pain the rest of my life.
All I know is if this infectious disease doc wants to perform another aspiration, he will have to put me to sleep. That is not something I want to experience twice!
Meanwhile, when I come to the end of my rope, the Lord comes and holds me in his lap, and soothes my heart with his gentle spirit. He takes my fears away and reassures me he is in charge and will get me through this.
After a thorough search, we found a doctor who did take our insurance, as well as his hospital. We waited a few weeks to get in only to be referred to another doctor who is all the way in Ft. Worth. It seems he is the cream of the crop for hip and knee replacements. He edits a well known medical digest, and he appears to be very thorough.
When Mark told him about my candida infection, he sent me to the same hospital where the surgery will take place to have an aspiration to see if the candida is in my joint. The doctor who did it could not get any fluids out of the bone on bone hip joint. Now Dr. Weeden is sending me to an infectious disease doctor, but we can't get in there until a week before the scheduled surgery.
I am thinking the surgery will now be postponed yet again, but the good thing is I have some better pain killers to tide me over. The bad side is swimming has made me start itching again. I feel better if I swim, but I feel itchier if I swim. I have to hold off the swimming, because the itching keeps me awake. So when I lose sleep, the pain is worse. The negtive thing is I do more warfare prayers when I swim, so I will have to develop another routine whereby I can actively attack the enemy who habitually rares his ugly head up against all my freinds and family.
Meanwhile I have researched the hip implants and found out many have been recalled. The metal parts all seem to pose a threat in the form of seeping out into the body and bloodstream. I am not happy with the idea of having an artificial prosthesis inside my leg and hip, but neither am I happy hobbling around in pain the rest of my life.
All I know is if this infectious disease doc wants to perform another aspiration, he will have to put me to sleep. That is not something I want to experience twice!
Meanwhile, when I come to the end of my rope, the Lord comes and holds me in his lap, and soothes my heart with his gentle spirit. He takes my fears away and reassures me he is in charge and will get me through this.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
The tide has turned.
After doing all I could possiby do for the rehabilitation of my back, legs and hips, I am now resigned to the fact that all efforts seem futile. You can't say I didn't try. Furthermore, you can't say, "It's allllll in my heaaaaad."
True, some days have been better than others, but exactly what contributes to those better times, I don't really know. Mark has me back on Univera Reginicare, and I can say I do feel better when taking that three times a day. The ecises have also helped, but when you see the X-Ray, you see the bone on bone, and you see the effects of the scraping in the form of cysts, which I find are getting more and more intrusive with ugly painful side effects.
I am not having major depression over this, but I give you the fact that if I weren't taking Mark's Xtra, I would be on Prozac or something stronger. I am now at the point where sleeplessness (due to pain even with the meds) has equally caused mood swings and feelings of hopelessness. I attribute any good coming from all this to the Lord Jesus Christ and his dying love for my body, spirit and soul.
Many times I still feel as though he has abandoned me, because I have had miraculous healings in my life, I do believe he wants everyone every whit whole, and I can't understand why he has not healed me. I don't want to have a healing through a surgeon cutting my skin and installing an artificial hip component. I accept it as a last resort.
I also realize to have it go without any hitches takes prayer, because already the insurance is against us. The fact that the so called, "Affordable Care Act" is a real piece of deception and will inevitably cause Medicare to all but disappear, is serving as a catalyst for my accepting this rather depressing solution. If I wait too much longer, I may be in this unbearable pain the rest of my life, which has become no life; many times when Mark asks what I want to eat, I say arsenic on stricchnine toast.
He retorts, "You have been and are already full of poison which is what has been destroying your joints. He swears it is the candida that has damaged my joints beyond repair. Actually he thinks the Univera can repair the cartillage and tendons that have worn away in my hip joints.
Yes, joints. Right side = real bad. Left side = bad. So, I say why not let the right side be artifially repaired and use the left side as an unwitting participant in this Univera/get rid of Candida experiment?
Mark is very worried about my having made the wrong decision on this; that I was bamboozled into it way too quickly. However, there are things to do, places to go this summer. It may be Mom's last summer, as last summer was Dad's. She is a tough old bird, but I can't see her going and coming up North all by herself carrying Bogie, her purse, her carryon, and being in a wheelchair between flights.
I do hope Andy will help her get up there, because if all goes well, I want to help her get home. Maybe I will even be able to get her up there. I have people who want to see me in Michigan, and the kids are planning on swinging by Goodhart on route home, if I am not mistaken. I could possibly even see the girls and Mom up there.
Well, I know the Lord knows, is sovereign, and has my best interests at heart. I surrender all, trust all his motives and protective acts on my behalf.
In the end victory has again been won for me and mine.
Nancy Jeanne is most likely going to be coming post surgery to help take care of me, and that is special in and of itself. I know the Lord has a plan for our whole family to be again blessed by Jame's very sweet, beautiful and strong wife. She just doesn't know what she is getting into regarding the state of squalor here at the house.
But as friend Annie says, my health is more important right now that my pride about keeping the nastiness of the house hidden from people who love me. What a wise woman.
Add it all together, and I am very blessed.
Amen.
True, some days have been better than others, but exactly what contributes to those better times, I don't really know. Mark has me back on Univera Reginicare, and I can say I do feel better when taking that three times a day. The ecises have also helped, but when you see the X-Ray, you see the bone on bone, and you see the effects of the scraping in the form of cysts, which I find are getting more and more intrusive with ugly painful side effects.
I am not having major depression over this, but I give you the fact that if I weren't taking Mark's Xtra, I would be on Prozac or something stronger. I am now at the point where sleeplessness (due to pain even with the meds) has equally caused mood swings and feelings of hopelessness. I attribute any good coming from all this to the Lord Jesus Christ and his dying love for my body, spirit and soul.
Many times I still feel as though he has abandoned me, because I have had miraculous healings in my life, I do believe he wants everyone every whit whole, and I can't understand why he has not healed me. I don't want to have a healing through a surgeon cutting my skin and installing an artificial hip component. I accept it as a last resort.
I also realize to have it go without any hitches takes prayer, because already the insurance is against us. The fact that the so called, "Affordable Care Act" is a real piece of deception and will inevitably cause Medicare to all but disappear, is serving as a catalyst for my accepting this rather depressing solution. If I wait too much longer, I may be in this unbearable pain the rest of my life, which has become no life; many times when Mark asks what I want to eat, I say arsenic on stricchnine toast.
He retorts, "You have been and are already full of poison which is what has been destroying your joints. He swears it is the candida that has damaged my joints beyond repair. Actually he thinks the Univera can repair the cartillage and tendons that have worn away in my hip joints.
Yes, joints. Right side = real bad. Left side = bad. So, I say why not let the right side be artifially repaired and use the left side as an unwitting participant in this Univera/get rid of Candida experiment?
Mark is very worried about my having made the wrong decision on this; that I was bamboozled into it way too quickly. However, there are things to do, places to go this summer. It may be Mom's last summer, as last summer was Dad's. She is a tough old bird, but I can't see her going and coming up North all by herself carrying Bogie, her purse, her carryon, and being in a wheelchair between flights.
I do hope Andy will help her get up there, because if all goes well, I want to help her get home. Maybe I will even be able to get her up there. I have people who want to see me in Michigan, and the kids are planning on swinging by Goodhart on route home, if I am not mistaken. I could possibly even see the girls and Mom up there.
Well, I know the Lord knows, is sovereign, and has my best interests at heart. I surrender all, trust all his motives and protective acts on my behalf.
In the end victory has again been won for me and mine.
Nancy Jeanne is most likely going to be coming post surgery to help take care of me, and that is special in and of itself. I know the Lord has a plan for our whole family to be again blessed by Jame's very sweet, beautiful and strong wife. She just doesn't know what she is getting into regarding the state of squalor here at the house.
But as friend Annie says, my health is more important right now that my pride about keeping the nastiness of the house hidden from people who love me. What a wise woman.
Add it all together, and I am very blessed.
Amen.
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