Frying pan to fire

I am going to be sure not to think it couldn't get any worse, since last time that thought popped into my mind, I woke up with hives all over my arms, back and legs.  It got worse while waiting for the doctor to access my skin (originally for candida) and worsened for five days before the doc saw it.  (Past tense does not mean it is gone yet!)

He immediately said it was not candida, but allergic reaction to NSAIDS, which I have been taking more and more for a few years here now.  One doesn't realize how much one depends on advil, asprin, and ibuprofen until said entities are taken away from one. 

Not fair!  Now the pain is worse, but the rash remains!!  When will it end?  Why have you left me here all alone?  Who will abandon me next? 

Pity party here, no other life.  Yesh, I am the life of the pity party~  Too bad I can't drink with these useless meds.  At least then I could forget. 

Three more drugs administered, and I say, "Three strikes:  Rx, you're OUT!"  I think other than the antihistamine I am going to take nothing other than Univera from now on.  Tramadol is allowed, but helps not, as doesn't Tylenol.  Hmm guess, the 'ol's are out.

And the poor dog.. It gives me very bad smelling windy pops.  More like toxic gas emissions.  The dog, ah, yes, well, there is a whole nuther story.  I got as far as typing up an ad on Craigslist, "Maltipoo up for adoption" but couldn't upload a photo; then he got on his good behavior as if he knew I was thinking of giving him away to a nice, unsuspecting old lady who might be in need of companionship.

Another thing about these new scripts ~ they yield quite vivid dreams... Mostly about the mess downstairs (no, it is not yet cleared up, thrown out, gone through) trailing from room to room, across every vacant counter and piece of furniture originally designed for the reclining of human bodies.

The above, yes this, and more is  what you might call the symptoms of withdrawl from Mummi swimming, or the side effects of Mummi obeying the doctors.  You can think what you will.  Bottom line ~ not anything good about any of it.

All in all, were it not for some very dear friends who are pursuing my soul in prayer three times a week over the phone, I would probably have given up long ago.  Praise to you, Lord Christ.

The waiting

So, we went to Dr. Roberts of Irving, who did take our insurance, scheduled the total hip replacement surgery, and found out a week before the date, our insurance does not cover the hospital.  It would have cost $350/day to have the surgery there.

After a thorough search, we found a doctor who did take our insurance, as well as his hospital.  We waited a few weeks to get in only to be referred to another doctor who is all the way in Ft. Worth.  It seems he is the cream of the crop for hip and knee replacements.  He edits a well known medical digest, and he appears to be very thorough.

When Mark told him about my candida infection, he sent me to the same hospital where the surgery will take place to have an aspiration to see if the candida is in my joint.  The doctor who did it could not get any fluids out of the bone on bone hip joint.  Now Dr. Weeden is sending me to an infectious disease doctor, but we can't get in there until a week before the scheduled surgery. 

I am thinking the surgery will now be postponed yet again, but the good thing is I have some better pain killers to tide me over.  The bad side is swimming has made me start itching again.  I feel better if I swim, but I feel itchier if I swim.  I have to hold off the swimming, because the itching keeps me awake.  So when I lose sleep, the pain is worse.  The negtive thing is I do more warfare prayers when I swim, so I will have to develop another routine whereby I can actively attack the enemy who habitually rares his ugly head up against all my freinds and family.

Meanwhile I have researched the hip implants and found out many have been recalled.  The metal parts all seem to pose a threat in the form of seeping out into the body and bloodstream.  I am not happy with the idea of having an artificial prosthesis inside my leg and hip, but neither am I happy hobbling around in pain the rest of my life.

All I know is if this infectious disease doc wants to perform another aspiration, he will have to put me to sleep.  That is not something I want to experience twice! 

Meanwhile, when I come to the end of my rope, the Lord comes and holds me in his lap, and soothes my heart with his gentle spirit.  He takes my fears away and reassures me he is in charge and will get me through this.

The tide has turned.

After doing all I could possiby do for the rehabilitation of my back, legs and hips, I am now resigned to the fact that all efforts seem futile.  You can't say I didn't try.  Furthermore, you can't say, "It's allllll in my heaaaaad."

True, some days have been better than others, but exactly what contributes to those better times, I don't really know.  Mark has me back on Univera Reginicare, and I can say I do feel better when taking that three times a day.  The ecises have also helped, but when you see the X-Ray, you see the bone on bone, and you see the effects of the scraping in the form of cysts, which I find are getting more and more intrusive with ugly painful side effects.

I am not having major depression over this, but I give you the fact that if I weren't taking Mark's Xtra, I would be on Prozac or something stronger.  I am now at the point where sleeplessness (due to pain even with the meds) has equally caused mood swings and feelings of hopelessness.  I attribute any good coming from all this to the Lord Jesus Christ and his dying love for my body, spirit and soul.

Many times I still feel as though he has abandoned me, because I have had miraculous healings in my life, I do believe he wants everyone every whit whole, and I can't understand why he has not healed me.  I don't want to have a healing through a surgeon cutting my skin and installing an artificial hip component.  I accept it as a last resort. 

I also realize to have it go without any hitches takes prayer, because already the insurance is against us.  The fact that the so called, "Affordable Care Act" is a real piece of deception and will inevitably cause Medicare to all but disappear, is serving as a catalyst for my accepting this rather depressing solution.  If I wait too much longer, I may be in this unbearable pain the rest of my life, which has become no life; many times when Mark asks what I want to eat, I say arsenic on stricchnine toast.

He retorts, "You have been and are already full of poison which is what has been destroying your joints.  He swears it is the candida that has damaged my joints beyond repair.  Actually he thinks the Univera can repair the cartillage and tendons that have worn away in my hip joints. 

Yes, joints.  Right side = real bad.  Left side = bad.  So, I say why not let the right side be artifially repaired and use the left side as an unwitting participant in this Univera/get rid of Candida experiment?

Mark is very worried about my having made the wrong decision on this; that I was bamboozled into it way too quickly.  However, there are things to do, places to go this summer.  It may be Mom's last summer, as last summer was Dad's.  She is a tough old bird, but I can't see her going and coming up North all by herself carrying Bogie, her purse, her carryon, and being in a wheelchair between flights. 

I do hope Andy will help her get up there, because if all goes well, I want to help her get home.  Maybe I will even be able to get her up there.  I have people who want to see me in Michigan, and the kids are planning on swinging by Goodhart on route home, if I am not mistaken.  I could possibly even see the girls and Mom up there.

Well, I know the Lord knows, is sovereign, and has my best interests at heart.  I surrender all, trust all his motives and protective acts on my behalf. 

In the end victory has again been won for me and mine.

Nancy Jeanne is most likely going to be coming post surgery to help take care of me, and that is special in and of itself.  I know the Lord has a plan for our whole family to be again blessed by Jame's very sweet, beautiful and strong wife.  She just doesn't know what she is getting into regarding the state of squalor here at the house.

But as friend Annie says, my health is more important right now that my pride about keeping the nastiness of the house hidden from people who love me.  What a wise woman.

Add it all together, and I am very blessed.

Amen.

Progress?

Last week I went to the pool and spent two hours each day of the week.  Seven days!!!  In a row!!!  That is phenomenal for me.  I have been using the, "Spinal Stretch" twice a day as well, plus the e-cises every day.  Optimally, doing the e-cises in the morning  followed by the rest is my goal.  This is difficult because of the difficulty in sleeping and the pool hours being early.  Often I have to jump up and go to the pool right away to be able to get a lane.  


Night time hours are much more crowded due to the Pirrouettes practicing; but they are fun to watch, even though their style is not the same as when I did water ballet in my youth.  Also I find mixing it up to be a good way to avoid the doldrums, like Sunday when Mark accompanied me to Heritage pool, even though he spent the whole time in the hot tub.


Now if I could only sleep after a full exercise schedule~it would be the cat's meow.  I have ordered some powered calcium magnesium with zinc that you drink at night like tea, so we'll see if that helps.


I do recommend the Spinal Stretch machine.  At first when using it, I could feel some pain in the knees.  But now it doesn't hurt, so I am able to relax and let it do its job.  This is after only one week of using it.  We'll see how much more progress it brings after two more weeks.  People say it takes about two or three weeks to feel the difference.


Often when I feel a tiny bit encouraged, it is not long before the pain returns with a vengeance.  But I am free to hope at this point, that the Lord has finally provided some optimal tools to get my spine healed.  The hip rotation is another story.  I can feel a difference when I do the two e-cises, and although it does not last long, it is contributing immensely if I only remain faithful to doing them. 


I would like to believe the angels will just come and zap me into shape, and I would so love that!  But I also know the Lord has a reason for healing me in a, "Non-miraculous" mode this time.  Bottom line is I trust him to do the job and thank him for it in advance.  He is the one in control, and that is all I need to rest confidently in peace from day to day.

Day One with Spinal Stretch

Mark helped me get hooked up to the new gizmo, the Spinal Stretch.  I came across it on Amazon while pricing those Teeter Inversion thingamabobs.  It looked a whole lot more inviting than going upside down on the inversion gadget.  It was a hundred bucks, whereas the Teeter Inversion Tables were at least twice that.  It also had really good reviews.  I saw only a few where peeps had sent it back or it didn't help.


We set the pull at a low weight to start.  I could tell a difference immediately upon standing up.  Not a huge difference, but I walked without the leg pinching for at least a half hour.  I proceeded to go downstairs, piddle in the kitchen, fix something to eat (Mark has been fixing my meals for the most part, at least dinners) and went out to cut Rylie's hair.  


After all this activity, I went back and lay down.  Then I did my E-cises and promptly fell asleep.


All this after being awake most of the night with a very upset stomach.  I think I had too much Advil in my system and boy, never again!  I would rather stay awake with back/leg pain than feeling like I was gonna barf all night.


I am going to go see if I can hook it up and use it again before attempting another night's sleep.  Ho Hum.  Let's hope for the best.  I know, I know, it took 60 some odd years to get into this shape, and it won't go away overnight.  


Time and repetition is the old adage for this type of cure.

Kinds of Physical Pain

So, when the doctor only sees inside their own spectrum and wants to do only what they have in their itinerary, and then they say, "No, it's not pleasant" when you ask if the procedure hurts rather than, "Yes, it hurts," I think it is time to ask another doctor if your numbing feet is due to the herniated disc, the rotated hip or another source.  Of course, if you then go home and check what other people have said after having this nerve test and find out their symptoms actually worsened and that it was like having air blowing on an exposed nerve in your tooth but magnified times twenty but also repeated for an unbearable amount of times, it doesn't lend to one's being willing to submit to more pain after having lived in chronic pain for going on four years.


It is one thing to experience the kind of pain it takes to bring forth new life out of your body, the kind of pain that yields real joyful relief.  It is another kind of pain when someone sticks a bunch of needles in your muscles and then shocks you until you scream.  Then they make you feel guilty because you are feeling too frail, too vulnerable, too shaken to want to submit to this procedure.  I also don't like prideful doctors who make fun of chiropractors and mock you when you show a bit of trepidation about experiencing further pain, when you are already at the breaking point, because you have only one "nerve left."


On the upside, it was a lovely day, and there are no clouds in the sky.  I went home, cried, and after researching said nerve test and cancelling it, went out and rode Huli the Bentley for as long as the strong south wind allowed.  


Icing definitely helped upon getting home.  Today, I did a full water workout with double stretches and have not yet had to ice!  


Today was the first time I could tell a positive difference when swimming the breaststroke!  It usually hurts quite a bit due to the hip rotation and in-turned right leg.  But after doing the E-cises since Xmas, I finally can say swimming six lengths of breaststroke did not hurt!  I also was able to do the elementary back stroke and did not grimace.


Doing the stretches, however, was another story.  I have been saving them til the end, and I can't say it doesn't hurt to do those.  But I was able to do two sets and was in the pool a full two hours.


I am so very thankful for the pool and pray God will see fit to keep it open until either we move or I die.


Now I want to make it part of my daily routine to walk on the mini trampoline at least thirty minutes (not all at once) and do the bongo board for as long as I can balance~


I am thankful, and waiting... while trying to stay upright and taking nourishment....

New E-cise Menu

Taken from Pete Egoscue's, "Pain Free," here are the new e-cises I am now doing every day.

For Hips and Lower Back

1.     Counter Stretch (fig. 7-4)  hold for one minute  p. 112

2.     Sitting Floor (fig. 6-11) hold for six minutes  p. 95

3.     Static Back (fig. 5-5) hold for ten minutes p. 70

4.     Static Back Knee Pillow Squeezes ~   (fig. 8-2) three sets of fifteen   p.120

5.     Reverse Presses (fig. 8-8) ~ two sets of fifteen  p. 131-2

6.     Pullovers (fig. 8-9, a & b) ~ one set of fifteen  p. 132-3

7.     Supine Groin Stretch  (fig. 5-7)  hold until thigh muscle is pulling rather than knee muscles when leg muscle is squeezed ~ can take up to 30 min per side at first;  p. 72

8.     Modified Floor Block  (fig. 8-3)  hold for six minutes  p. 121

9.     Floor Block  (fig. 8-10, a, b & c)  hold each for one minute  p. 133-135

10.  Static Extension  (fig. 4-7)  hold for three minutes  p. 56

11.  Air Bench  (fig. 4-8)  hold for one to two minutes  p. 57

12.  Squat  (fig. 8-11)  hold for one to two minutes  p. 136

Altogether it takes just over an hour and a half right now.  As it proves to help with proper alignment, it will take less (or more, depending on how I change the menu when pain diminishes.)  I will probably be able to do more e-cises as pain diminishes and get on a maintenance menu.

A note on the supine groin stretch:  It takes pretty long at first, especially if you have been in chronic pain for a while.  But the more you do it, the less time it will take sequentially.  I have been known to fall asleep while disengaging this strong groin muscle.

At the end of each description of these e-cises is the explanation of what it does.  In other words, why you do each one.  Reading the material before the actual e-cises are prescribed is good to understand what is actually happening in the muscles; vis. what has gone amiss and why.  It may take several perusals to grasp full knowledge of your improper muscular engagement if you are in pain as you read it.  That's ok; just keep reading it until it sinks in!

I also have been trying to swim and stretch in the pool at least three times a week.  This starts with 25 minutes of freestyle, 5 min. of breaststroke, 5 minutes of cool down (one backstroke, one length skull on back, one elementary backstroke, and one more skull on back for one length.)  Bicycle one lap, running on the moon one lap, leap frog one lap.)  Float five minutes.

Shallow end:  Jump five minutes; skip five minutes; slalom jump five minutes

 Stretches:  swing each leg forward til toes break surface and back as far as possible ~ 10 X

                     swing each leg to side and back to cross other leg in front ~ 10 X  then do same but cross other leg in back ~ 10 X

                     extend leg back as far as can ~ each leg 10 X

                     bicycle each leg around ~ 10 X forward and then backwards

                     rotate each leg around in big circles ~ 10 X and then the other way 10 X

                     swing each leg out to the side from front to back 10 X

                     Pull leg up to chest and hold for 2 min.  do same with other leg

                     Pull right foot to opposite knee, press right leg down just above knee, and hold for 2 minutes; do same with other leg

                     Reach behind and grab big toe, pulling as far as possible, holding for 2 minutes.

If it isn't too windy, on days when not swimming, ride bike for 45 minutes.

Go home and ice!