Sunday

Here it is September eleventh, the day of remembrance for all who fell on that fateful day ten years ago.  They are serving communion at church.  I love communion, but I cannot attend.  My back is hurting too much to sit.  I cannot walk without a lot of pain.  But I can ride my bike, and I can swim.  


So, even though I got kicked off the track (they can't have tires on the track) (wait, aren't tennis shoes made of that same kind of material?) I will go ever so slowly around the art center complex and try to avoid the potholes, so my spine will not be jolted.  I will pray as I go, for all who have been orphaned or widowed by the Muslim terrorists.  I will pray for the terrorists that they will not have to burn in hell forever.  I will pray for those who think moderate Islam exists, for it, if truly adhered to, only leads to radical Islam.


Jesus said, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." I will pray for all my relatives who think President Obama has done and will do the right thing for our country.


I know I am not saved by taking communion.  I am not saved by attending church, or singing in the choir.  I do not know why I am being isolated so very sorely at this time.  I do not know why I am so alone in this pain.  I do not know why the physical pain is only leading to more emotional and spiritual pain.  But I do know God has a plan for my life.  Evidently, this all is part of his plan for me right now.  I do not like it.  


I love Job.  I identify with Job a lot.  He lost everything but his life, and he was probably in a lot more pain than I am experiencing.  I do not know how long his trial tormented him.  He could complain and blame it on God, but in the end he also said God would bring his relief.  I agree.  To whom else could I go?  God is the only one who is with me through all this, so I am not completely and utterly alone.  Sometimes I would be nice to have someone stroke my hair, or give me a big hug and kiss.  I do miss the comfort of my mother, and I know my mother also needs me.  


I do not understand all this.  It confuses me so much.  I find it hard to sleep.  I find it hard to relax.  I want to drug myself until all this is over, but the drugs do not do well in my digestive system.  Maybe a little wine.  I am going now.  Bless.