Why

I ask myself why blog.  Someone who cares about me said I should.  I like writing.  I am seeking to halan.  That means overcome.  There are many things to halan.  I have two lower bad discs and one upper bad disc in my spine.  This has been going on a pretty long time.
I have tried writing a journal of what helps and when.  It gets boring.  So maybe this will be the ticket.

This journey of back trouble has impacted my faith and personal relationships in a not so good way.  Writing about it may help resolve some of these difficulties.  It may help me get to know my own heart.  It may help bring back that, "First Love" Christ told us we need in the book of Revelation.

Halan is Greek and it means not only overcome but connotes fight.  We are in a battle. A fierce battle. We have an adversary.  He is not so fond of us.  Some people just say, "Oh, him.  Well, my policy is not to even give him lip service."  They turn away from the fight.

But Christ Yeshua has told us to enter the fight.  It is one of his commands!  So fight I will.  Fight I am.  I am willing to fight.  I am wanting to fight.  I am waiting to fight.  Ha.  That was a quote out of, "My Fair Lady!"
It was said by Eliza's daddy.  I'll never forget that.  He was my favorite character in the play.  Ah, nice digression, but getting back to my desire to halan.  It is a fierce battle which requires strength.  It starts in the heart.  It is given by the Holy Spirit.  It is also fought by him.  Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.  You know the word, "Salvation" in the original language William Tyndale translation means, Health?"  Awesome.

Enough philosophizing.  I will sometimes do this.  I will also sometimes only say, "I rode my bike to the gym, walked around without pain, stretched with less or more pain, swam peacefully, and rode home."

The disc that is bulging in my lower back is pressing on the nerve that goes to my leg.  This causes pain when I sit.  Sometimes it causes pain when I walk.  It always causes my toes to be numb.  Some people say surgery is what I need.  Many people who have had surgery end up having to have surgery again.  My doc says what I am doing at the gym and at home is what is between me and surgery.  I don't go many places.  I don't go to church, out to dinner, to concerts, to places that require sitting for very long.  I do a lot of bouncing on the exercise ball, a lot of stretching and the bike-gym-swim routine.  Most days it hurts pretty much of the time.  There are some days when I can walk a short distance and do a few non-bending chores and not have to ice my back.

People judge me a lot cuz I don't go anywhere or have much of a, "Life."  When we visited family and other  family came at Christmas, it took me almost til Easter to get back to where I was before I went.  But God is teaching me a lot through all this.  He is showing me there is healing in his word.  "He sent his word and healed them."  Yeshua is his word, and the Holy Bible is his word.  So I stream his word and have it on a whole lot of the time.  It also helps me to fall asleep and go back to sleep every time I wake up, which is every time I turn over.  Sleep is not something that is very restful these days.  But we'll get to that later.